Would you be content with the choice made by others if you were to look back on Would there be any regret? In Henry Hung “Taking Hold of Your Own Future”,  goes into depth of a parents role and if they should be able to decide what their kids will do with their future career. As well as the kids trying to break past that. The issue is still relevant and  many that go through such issues and end up growing mentally and emotionally scarred.

Many parents tend to guilt-trip their children. Which is literally the worst thing to do because they will make their children feel bad. It occurs many times or  may happen only one time but it will stick with the child mentality. Which in no way should a parent do, a parent is to show love, care, and support their children. Moms are very important to the child because they are there every step, pushing the child and supporting them. But if they don’t have their support they would just feel sad and feel like it’s all their fault, just because their child  wants to pursue his own dreams and future. Many children/students end up feeling overwhelmed with the situation which causes pain within them, because they keep it to themselves and do not tell the parents, most importantly their mother who in most cases are there for emotional support. Since fathers do not seem to rarely even show emotional support for their children and instead just tell them to be strong about their emotions. 

There is that when parents force their child to go into a career which they feel that they don’t wanna be in, they tend to end up pushing away  their family and friends as well. Something that I would never understand to be honest, because what are they to gain in return, money? I thought having children’s parents is to be supportive but that’s not the case at times.  Pushing them for reasons that seem understanding, like a career that can get good outcomes for them, sure, it’s good but if it’s not something they want to pursue then there shouldn’t be any pressure to continue to do the same thing. Doesn’t mean they get to be so harsh and rush to tell them what to do. There is a whole series on Netflix, called “The Good Bad Mother”, which is a series that talks about a  mother and a child where the son is cold to his mother and doesn’t want to see her. He had also pushed away his friends and even his lover. He becomes very cold towards them.  The whole reason as to why he won’t see her is because during his childhood his mother had restricted him, stating that  if he ate too much then he would end up sleeping and he wouldn’t have the energy to study. But also that he was told to get good grades and if he didn’t there was  like some sort of punishment, he would always get constantly yelled at for not getting the good grade that she wanted him to get. Her goal for her son was to become a prosecutor.  As stated in episode 1 “ After a tragedy turns her world upside down, Jin young-soon raises her son with the aim of steering him away from a life of hardships like her’s”(Netflix 2023). She has a motive as to why she wants her son to succeed but in no way should it be done in a manner that is not right, since he was left with an emotional scar.  It is known that the kid himself who has grown literally has “childhood resentment”, because of  what the mother had forced upon him throughout his whole entire childhood life up to him becoming an adult, mentally and  emotionally he was not ok. What becomes annoying is that they start questioning how come their child isn’t able to speak comfortably with them, as well as why do their kids start avoiding them. As when they found out they are the reason. They still start blaming their own child and saying things that hurt them. Signifying that they do not take blame on what they have caused on their children. But in the series the mother is growing, the series in general is still ongoing. 

Every  move made by parents has an important impact in the child’s life. That they should get to know their child because if not then it’s gonna be an issue. Children want to be able to express themselves to their parents and not parents that want to disown them or insult them after their child not wanting to pursue what their parents had planned in their mind.  But if parents don’t do not even let them express themselves  or even try,  then there is no point for those children who want to pursue their own career to keep trying. Like if the parents  don’t want to change their mindset that’s on them. At that moment I think it’s best to say that if parents don’t support their career that their child has elected then it’s best to stop and process the next step that should be taken. Why stick around or talk to them if they are not able to listen and let their child choose their own career path. 

One thing is that trying to influence your child to pick up one of choices you have offered, but pushing it so that they have no other choice but to accept it is bad. But being upset for not choosing what their parents forcefully wants them to do is crazy. Those types of parents who put such expectations and get involved with their child’s life tend to have a negative effect. As stated in a research paper that was conducted, “This result suggests that when parents are over involved without allowing their children to experience sufficient autonomy to solve problems and make decisions, their emerging adult children are likely to feel the burden of satisfying their parents’ high career expectations”(Lee Jaerim at el. 2018) In the research it showed that parents who put expectations and pressure onto their children to pursue a career that they don’t want affects them mentally. The children are left just accepting their parents’ choice because they will end up feeling bad for not doing so . It’s like they keep wanting to dictate their lives constantly which is no way good.                                      

 In conclusion, as stated in Huang title “Taking Hold of your own future”, that future is to be decided by one person and one person only. That person being yourself. If following the career that your parents chose for you is good then that’s ok to continue. But for those who don’t want to continue in pursuing or taking pursuit of the career then it’s best to voice it out. The issue becomes difficult especially when  it is still relevant and many grow mentally and emotionally scarred. 

Reference

American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Apa PsycNet. American Psychological Association. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-36139-001 

Na-yeon, Sim, and Bae Se-young. “Watch the Good Bad Mother: Netflix Official Site.” Watch The Good Bad Mother | Netflix Official Site, 26 Apr. 2023, www.netflix.com/browse?jbv=81669775.